I know there are those out there with more than me, i know there are those who dont care about how anyone feels and continues to cut themself. but i have problems with that, i feel bad for every time i took a blade to my flesh. Every time i made myself bleed. every time i let myself down and gave in to the quick rush, the quick distraction from the pain of the world. right now honestly... my muscles are so tense i cant think about anything but the pain. my mother got out, and i think that's a huge reason i'm stressing... i really dont like her... not even in the slightest. i spent some time with desiree today, and that always chills me out, but then i had to go to work which stressed me out a bit then i came home to a mother... *sigh* anyway... after she got done talking to me i came into my room for about 25 minutes then she decided that we needed to go to the store, in a car that's mine, but doesnt have insurance so im not allowed to drive it. anyway i'm writing now mostly to distract myself from the blades, from the pain, from the annoyances... using this as my release rather than dragging another blade across my flesh.